


On the Way Down (I Held on to You)

by violetvaria



Series: Stable AU [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Chapter Related, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Stable AU, dad!Jack, story insert, teen!Mac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetvaria/pseuds/violetvaria
Summary: “Kid.” Jack’s voice is gruff and warm, and though he approaches Mac slowly, somehow his hands—the only thing Mac can see besides the floor—are twitching as if he wants to leap over to the kid in a single stride. “C’mere.”Jack doesn’t give him a chance to respond or move before grabbing him in a huge bear hug. Mac gasps at the suddenness, and he catches Jack’s scent, which at this time of day is mostly hay and coffee overlaying his distinctive aftershave, and then he is folded into Jack’s chest, andoh, he had forgotten how good it felt, how it was warm and soft and strong all at the same time, how it was so tight that it was hard to move but didn’t feel constricting, how it was everything he had missed this week without knowing he’d wanted it, and he should resist and pull away, but it is all he can do to keep his hands at his sides rather than wrapping them around Jack and holding on forever.HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE STABLEVERSE!!!~~~set in dickgrysvn's Stablehands + Stable Homes AU and alongside slightly_ajar's Stable AU
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Stable AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1270502
Comments: 26
Kudos: 60
Collections: Stable_AU





	On the Way Down (I Held on to You)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Stablehands + Stable Homes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) by [dickgrysvn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickgrysvn/pseuds/dickgrysvn). 

> One year ago, the masterpiece [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) was published. I discovered it a couple weeks later, being new to both the fandom and to AO3, and I was absolutely floored, literally shaking and breathlessly shrieking as I read because I loved it so much. Within 24 hours, I had read it in its entirety four times, and I cannot count how many times I have re-read since then. It was so fantastic and such a rich universe that it demanded response, and within a week, "Ground Rules" was clawing to get out. The amazingly talented and gracious dickgrysvn gave her blessing to post, and here we are, a year later, with the source material that keeps on giving. (I re-read [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) AGAIN last night and still adore it!)
> 
> This little homage is a what-if scenario for Chapter 2 of [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171), which MUST be read prior to this one. If Mac's confrontation with James happened one day later, what fluff would have ensued between Mac and Jack? The first few lines are directly from Chapter 2 of [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) and are marked with **double asterisks**.
> 
> WARNING: implied child abuse

****Not Han Solo: **I know you’re not good, but we’ll talk when I see you. Not debatable.

**Not Han Solo:** And get here quick, I need to hug your skinny stupid self.

There’s a skeleton emoji tacked onto the last text, and Mac can’t help the snort that escapes him as he reads it. Mac’s pretty sure Jack’s favorite pastime is “how many times can I mention how skinny Mac is in one day.” But then the first part of the message sinks in, and Mac’s stomach turns unpleasantly. _This is gonna be an interesting day.**_

Mac forces his mind to focus on the current issue, rather than worrying about what Jack might say or do. Right now, the important thing is to get out of the house without a fight. Mindful of his lack of caution last week, Mac opens his bedroom door a crack and listens before creeping out. There are no lights on, at least, but he doesn’t even try to make a stop in the kitchen. As he nears the front door, he hears the faint sound of water running in the master bath, and he bolts through the door and out to freedom.

The bus ride is both too long and too short. The twisting in his gut has increased, and Mac isn’t sure if it’s reminding him that he hasn’t eaten—yet another thing to worry about—or if it’s warning him not to try eating. Because as Mac thinks about the long day stretching before him, he knows that he cannot raid Jack’s snack stash during his breaks as he usually does. _You can’t go to his office at all. Make sure you’re never alone with him. That’s the only way._

It isn’t much of a plan, but it’s as far as he gets before the bus reaches his stop, and Mac is surprised to find his feet hurrying of their own accord, as though they haven’t gotten the message that the rest of him is reluctant to face Jack.

Pepper also has not gotten the message. Mac slides in the back quietly, ready to try avoiding Jack until his first lesson of the day—which, damn, isn’t until 10, Mac sees on the posted schedule. This is going to be even tougher than he’d thought.

He doesn’t even make it four steps inside before Pepper rats him out. She squeals in delight upon scenting her boy, trotting to the door of her stall and stretching her nose toward him.

“Shh,” Mac hisses uselessly, but he comes forward and pets her nose anyway. _Just so she won’t make any more noise._

The office door, which had been ajar, opens wide, and Jack pokes his head out. “Mac!” he calls. “My office. Now.”

Mac swallows hard and for just a moment, he considers slipping back outside and running as fast as he can. But his traitorous feet are already moving toward the office—toward Jack.

_Okay, it’s okay, the worst he can do is fire you,_ Mac tries soothing himself, but this thought is accompanied by an almost blinding flash of pain, and Mac has to pause for a moment before he can continue walking. _That wouldn’t be so bad. Dad would be happy you aren’t coming here anymore—you’ll have to tell him you quit, though, not that you were fired—and you’ll never have to see Jack again._

Never see Jack again. Those words echo in Mac’s head, clanging like the funeral bells of a distant cathedral. He gulps hard, hesitating in the doorway.

“Kid.” Jack’s voice is gruff and warm, and though he approaches Mac slowly, somehow his hands—the only thing Mac can see besides the floor—are twitching as if he wants to leap over to the kid in a single stride. “C’mere.”

Jack doesn’t give him a chance to respond or move before grabbing him in a huge bear hug. Mac gasps at the suddenness, and he catches Jack’s scent, which at this time of day is mostly hay and coffee overlaying his distinctive aftershave, and then he is folded into Jack’s chest, and _oh_, he had forgotten how good it felt, how it was warm and soft and strong all at the same time, how it was so tight that it was hard to move but didn’t feel constricting, how it was everything he had missed this week without knowing he’d wanted it, and he should resist and pull away, but it is all he can do to keep his hands at his sides rather than wrapping them around Jack and holding on forever.

“I missed you, kiddo,” Jack murmurs into his hair.

Mac knows he shouldn’t respond, but all his willpower is currently occupied with keeping his arms down, so he can’t help saying, “I missed you too.”

Jack sighs as though he is lowering a great weight off his shoulders and hugs Mac tighter, not seeming to notice or care that Mac is not returning the gesture.

Mac wants this feeling of being warm and safe and cared for to go on forever, but at the same time he is mentally screaming at himself to get away. _You can’t get more attached! Good things don’t last. Don’t even imagine something you’ll never have._

“Hey, bud.” Jack finally pulls away but moves his hands to either side of Mac’s neck. “Let me look at you.”

Mac keeps his gaze down, but he can feel Jack’s slow scrutiny resting thoughtfully on the faint yellow of the bruise from last week, and then Jack’s fingers are combing through Mac’s hair, sliding down his shoulders, and continuing down his arms. His touch is gentle, but Mac still has to remind himself not to react when Jack brushes over the fading bruise on his bicep. Jack lets out a sound that is more of a breath than a hum, but he doesn’t comment.

“You hurt anywhere that I can’t see?”

Mac risks a glance up. Jack’s voice is soft, almost…sad. He shakes his head quickly. Jack stares at him another minute, seeming on the verge of saying—or asking—something else, but then he nods.

“Okay. Good. I was—worried about you, this week, kid.”

Mac looks down again so Jack won’t see the glittering in his eyes. “Jack, I’m s—”

But his apology is cut off when Jack once again pulls him close, and this time Mac can’t resist even though he tries—he _really_ tries—and his arms slide around Jack, and Jack is murmuring quiet nonsense in his ear, and how did he manage a whole week away from Jack? At the moment, Mac doesn’t think he could bear to be away from him for two minutes.

Mac sniffs quietly, but Jack is stroking his hair and pretends not to notice. He presses a light kiss to the top of the kid’s head, and Mac is surprised enough that he looks up.

Jack is smiling at him gently. “Did you eat this morning, buddy?”

Mac hesitates and then nods. A lie, of course, but a necessary one. He has already crossed way too many lines.

Jack catches his eyes and looks deep into them for a long time, and Mac squirms, certain Jack can see the truth. “Should I ask again?” he finally says in a low voice.

Mac nods meekly.

“Did you eat this morning?”

Mac shakes his head, but as Jack shifts, taking a step away, he finds his voice. “But it’s okay, Jack. I—I don’t need anything.”

“Sit down, kid,” Jack says, gesturing at the couch as he heads for the fridge, paying no attention to Mac’s protests.

“But, Jack—”

Jack turns back and levels a glare at the kid. “Sit. Your scrawny butt. Down.”

Mac perches anxiously on the edge of the couch. This day is spiraling way out of control. He has to do something, but what?

Before he can think of anything, a banana is pressed into one hand, followed by a hard-boiled egg in the other. Mac is startled to note that Jack has already _peeled the banana_ for him, the yellow skin spreading in a four-pointed star around the fruit. The egg is similarly missing its shell.

“No excuses. Eat. Finish that and I’ll get you some coffee.”

A part of Mac’s brain notices the bribe, even though it was spoken as a command, but his stomach has decided that _hell yes_ he’s hungry, and he makes short work of the food.

Jack comes back with a mug of coffee, a granola bar, and a bag of nuts. Mac reaches eagerly for the coffee, but Jack holds it away. “You’ll eat the rest of this?”

Mac’s eyes flick from the coffee to the food to Jack, and he nods his agreement.

“Attaboy.” Jack hands him the mug and puts the nuts and granola on the table, heading back toward the counter, presumably to get his own coffee.

But Mac has frozen. Jack has said _attaboy_ or something similar to him dozens of times, sometimes with a proud grin splitting his face when Mac does something like fixing the broken lock on the stall door, sometimes casually, like now, when all Mac has done is promise to eat breakfast. But it is always said with sincerity, and Mac wonders when he was last praised at home for doing something right instead of being yelled at for getting things wrong. He tries to recall the last compliment his father gave him, but the most he can come up with is an occasional grunted, “Acceptable.”

_What is wrong with you? You have no right to wish for anything but what you have._

Jack returns to the couch and raises an eyebrow, so Mac quickly pops an almond in his mouth. Jack nods and sits down next to the kid, stretching long legs out onto the coffee table and leaning back, nursing his own mug of caffeinated brew.

Mac can feel Jack watching him, but the man makes no comment, even when Mac burns his tongue a little trying to gulp the coffee too quickly. He just drops a hand on Mac’s back and starts rubbing circles there, waiting while Mac finishes eating.

Mac takes a deep breath. _Thanks, Jack. That’s all you need to say. Thanks, and I’ll be getting to work now. Hurry up and say it._

“So, kid…”

_Shoot._

Jack’s voice is quiet, and he hasn’t removed his hand. “Think you can tell me what’s been goin’ on with you this week?”

“Jack, I already told you, I had a lot of homework—”

“Mac.”

Mac bites his lip.

“Kid, I’m not mad, all right? But I need the truth.” Jack takes a deep breath, and Mac’s head shoots up in astonishment because Jack sounds…_nervous_?

“Mac, are you mad at me?”

Mac’s mouth falls open. “Wha—?”

“’Cause if I made you feel bad with what I said last week, I truly apologize. I’m sorry, s—Mac, I would never want to upset you.”

Mac is pretty sure his eyes are bugging out of his head.

“But if that’s what it is, you can tell me. I’ll understand. It’s _okay_, Mac. You can tell me anything.”

And in that moment, Mac really wants to believe him.

“Jack, I…” Mac shakes his head. “I’m not mad at you.” _How could I be?_

“But you have been avoiding me. Haven’t you.”

Mac nods. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Okay.” Jack sits up and scoots closer so he can drape an arm around the slender shoulders. “Can you tell me why?” When he senses Mac’s hesitation, he adds, “Please?”

Mac glances up doubtfully. “I—I…no, I can’t, Jack. I can’t.” He meets the man’s gaze, willing him to understand. “I’m sorry.”

Jack nods slowly. “Okay. I’m not gonna push you, kid. But whenever you’re ready—and that means _anytime_, not just when you’re at work—I’m here to listen, all right?”

_Because that’s what a dad does._

The thought is so forcible Mac is surprised he hasn’t spoken it aloud. He takes a shuddering breath, trying to regulate his whirling thoughts.

“Hey.” Jack is squeezing him closer, resting his own head on Mac’s. “I love you, kid.”

And Mac can’t control it any longer. Seeing those words in a text had been enough—had been more than he’d ever known he’d even wanted—but hearing them spoken, whispered into his ear, while inches away, the safety of Jack’s embrace beckons…

Mac turns and throws his arms around Jack with a speed that surprises the man, but he catches the kid and wraps him up tightly.

“Kid…I am gonna hold on to you forever, you hear me?”

It is that promise that suffuses Mac with warmth the rest of the day, even after Jack finally lets him get to work. It is that promise that Jack repeats at the end of the day, seeming reluctant to see the kid leaving. And it is that promise that Mac repeats to himself when his own father confronts him the next morning.

_Just get to Jack. Just get to Jack, and it’ll be okay._

And when Mac is finally safe, holding on to Jack as if he is a lifeline on a sheer mountain cliff, he lets himself believe that—maybe—it might be true. Jack will never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Ryan Cabrera's [**On the Way Down**](https://youtu.be/z6IhIKGVBXA).
> 
> Again, the first few lines are quoted directly from [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171). It's hard to choose, but the "I need to hug your skinny stupid self" line from Chapter 2 is, for reasons I can't fully articulate, my favorite line, followed closely by a line from Chapter 1: _"God, please, if you can hear me, let me love this kid for the rest of my life."_
> 
> What is your favorite Stableverse line or memory? And what would you like to see in the future?


End file.
